Plot
Whale WarsAnimal Planet
Friday at 9pm
The show follows the Sea Shepherd Conservation Society in their annual effort to interfere with Japanese whaling efforts.
Thoughts
I was excited to see the show. An environmental action team! I envisioned a tofu-powered SWAT team, a group of real SEALs (I had to). Handsome men who care about kittens and kick-ass women who can nurture injured newts back to life - givin' it to the military-industrial complex. Yeah!
Oh my dear god, I was wrong.
Whale Wars is a comedy of errors. With harpoons. An example of this comes in the first episode. There's a mother ship, the Steve Irwin, from which launches two smaller boats to harass the whaling ships. Upon sighting the first whaler they launch the delta - and totally screw it up. 'Cause it was the first time they did it. 43 days into the voyage. So there are 5 people in freezing, arctic water, very close to hypothermia and death. All hell breaks loose in the cabin.
The captain, also head of the Sea Shepherds, Paul Watson, stands stock still, opening and closing his mouth, then shouts, "We should turn around - we should turn around. (silence) No, no, no don't turn around. We can't turn around - we wouldn't get there in time. We have to go backwards! Yeah, backwards! Go backward! Go backward! Go backward!" Meanwhile the first mate, Peter Brown, is yelling something else entirely and everyone runs back and forth shouting. It's like the 3 Stooges in dreadlocks. And while the captain and first mate yell contradictory orders and jump around the cabin, down on deck the NCO's, so to speak, have calmly commenced the rescue operation by throwing the capsized vessel some rope.
Other highlights:
Ed 25 Nov 2008: changed from comparing Whale Wars to The Office
The captain, also head of the Sea Shepherds, Paul Watson, stands stock still, opening and closing his mouth, then shouts, "We should turn around - we should turn around. (silence) No, no, no don't turn around. We can't turn around - we wouldn't get there in time. We have to go backwards! Yeah, backwards! Go backward! Go backward! Go backward!" Meanwhile the first mate, Peter Brown, is yelling something else entirely and everyone runs back and forth shouting. It's like the 3 Stooges in dreadlocks. And while the captain and first mate yell contradictory orders and jump around the cabin, down on deck the NCO's, so to speak, have calmly commenced the rescue operation by throwing the capsized vessel some rope.
Other highlights:
- Sending two men to the whaling ship with a letter in the hopes they're taken hostage. Then realizing maybe they should actually write a letter. Then realizing it should be translated into Japanese.
- Dictating terms on which they would get the hostages back. (In other words, "You can only give our people back if. . .")
- Losing one of their boats. With people in it.
- P. Hammarstedt I swear this man is Dwight from The Office (and looks like Gareth from UK's The Office). I keep expecting him to start talking about his wizard's power level and how he can kill a man with a single roundhouse kick.
Ed 25 Nov 2008: changed from comparing Whale Wars to The Office
1 comments:
I TOTALLY agree with you on Whale Wars! My favorite part is their utter indignation when the Japanese vessels decide to retaliate against their harassment. And the crew, its like a sad version of Life Aquatic. Except for Jane. She's kinda cute.
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